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Ah, it s some nice talk, though, Sol. You make it all sound real nice.
That s the beauty of it. Just dreaming thoughts on once-was things. Animals and
helping people and one place you could always call home.
The Horizon is my home, he says, and it strikes him for the first time how much
that is true. A sudden keen longing for its shapes and spaces goes through him, and he
hugs Sol to him tighter.
You are my home, she says, real sudden. So sudden he s sure she s about to take
it back any second or at least wants to.
But no taking back comes. He clings to the words so tightly he doesn t think she
could take them back even if she tried. Oh Sol, he thinks. God, please don t let us die now.
Not now.
Not now that he realizes The Horizon isn t his home at all. That he thinks like her.
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The Horizon
That she is his home, too.
* * * * *
There s only a little light in the cabin. Not enough to see her face by not clearly, at
least. But he can still make out all the things that make her Sol, like her witch-black hair.
The long, thin slope of her nose. Her hand clutching his.
You afraid to die? she asks.
All he can think is, It s nice to actually get the time to contemplate such an idea. Instead
of thirty seconds before a sander to the face and a torturous death in some pit aboard a
Jugg. Or getting beaten into oblivion by a bunch of mining gals.
Not like this I m not.
Because freezing to death and being unable to breathe is a great way to go out?
We ll probably just fall asleep.
She seems satisfied by that. Or at least, as satisfied as anyone could be when they re
around an hour from death. He can feel, when he shifts about, that her face is wet. She
hides it well on the three t-shirts and coat he s wearing, but he knows it s there.
Remember the first time we ever met, Quade?
You re making me choke up, seriously. Can we talk about dying children next?
It was on that space station the Copperneck.
It takes him a second to get the words out and not just because breathing is now a
little like breathing through a straw.
I remember.
Why did that guy smash a chair over your head? You never told me.
Why would I tell you? My first sight of you was you yucking up a storm at my
expense!
She laughs, but it s like on the Jugg. Every sound she makes sounds suddenly
sleepy. Her body feels heavy against his.
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Charlotte Stein
It s always funny when a guy gets carked on the back of the head with a chair.
People always seem to want to beat you up.
Including you, I might add.
Including& including me&
He shakes her. His own eyelids feel kind of heavy, but he shakes her.
Hey hey, Sol! What happened next, huh? What happened after I got hit by that
hump s chair?
Panic tries to crush the insides of his chest. Her next words are barely words at all,
they re slurred and weird and like she s being poisoned by carbon dioxide.
You& knocked him out& with a serving tray.
And then what?
I ran over to you. I ran& to you.
Cause you wanted to get in on the action, huh? Said my face was born to punch.
No& no. I ran to you cause& the Jugg was chasing me. Got close& couldn t bring
myself to call you on the comm. She laughs in this wheezing sort of way. He can feel
his stomach dropping, dropping. Isn t that a riot? Couldn t& call you.
He remembers her saying on the Jugg. Clear as day her saying, I ran to you. Now it s
pretty clear what she meant, in between all her mixed-up answers to the wrong events
and her slurring and oh, he doesn t know what to think.
All the time they were in that cloud, she knew. And she waited for him to come and
save her. Sol, who actively punches people to stop them saving her. She wanted him to
save her all this time.
Don t go to sleep, Sol, he says, and his voice sounds thin and high. Stay awake,
okay, stay awake.
I m sorry, she replies. I m sorry I brought them on you. But& but I would have
come for you. I would have come& if you called.
Why didn t you ever tell me, Sol? Why? It s too goddamn late!
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The Horizon
Her voice when she next speaks is so faint, he could pretend she hadn t said a word
if he were so inclined.
You re holding me now. It s not too late.
Though he has to say, it s better than he could ever have imagined, feeling his heart
ache like this. At least, yeah at least at least he got to feel something like this once.
Don t go to sleep, Sol, please, he says, but this time she doesn t reply.
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